Saturday, October 2, 2010

Joy 7/82: Roommates

I haven't had a "roommate" since college but I am relearning the joy of comraderie without complication.  Lynne and I have been working associates and friends for over twenty years.  We wrote a book together, went kayaking in Belize together and when I was at loose ends about where to go after Arkansas, she invited me to try the Boulder area.  Later, when I realized that the pull back to California was too great to resist, she decided to help me move.

While I was living alone in Colorado, people kept giving me the same great advice:  learn to live alone without being lonely.  And I did ... pretty much.  I kept busy, jumped into a lot of activities, met some great people and was no longer actively "lonely" but I missed having someone to share stories with and the feeling of being connected.   So, when Lynne took one look at these foothills, the lakes, the milder climate, weighed it against her failing relationship and decided that this was where she wanted to be, too, I was delighted.

Both of us have lived life as a compromise (as all relationships require, good and bad) and are now committed to supporting each other in "radical selfishness" and becoming as authentically who we are as much as possible.  We have a lot in common ... photography, kayaking, spiritual beliefs ... and a lot of separate interests that take us in different directions.  We have few expectations other than sharing our living space and enjoying life and the beauty of this part of the world with our three dogs and two cats.

I have always believed in the "forever commitment" of marriage and I did that for almost 40 years.  Now I'm content to savor one day at a time and am blessed to have a caring, supportive friend and roommate to share it with ... without the pressure of that forever commitment.


  1. this is so awesome! I really believe some of us were meant to live alone and others were meant to live communally -- but with the right people for us. Sounds like you hit the jackpot!