Thursday, September 14, 2017

Intend Peace

On September 15, 2009, I began this blog. At the time, it was called Peaceful Legacies and it helped me stay peaceful through challenging times. As my life changed, the identity of the blog changed and now it is changing again. Once again it began when a piece of art resurfaced ... art that was created as I thought about my intentions.

Here it is again with my renewed commitment to these intentions:

Trust Love
Create Beauty
Seek Truth
Give Freely
Receive Easily

Listen Generously
See Goodness
Honor Self
Laugh Often
Practice Joy

Be thankful for EVERYTHING!



Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Parallel Parenting

Update: This post was originally written in 2011. I am delighted to report that it is the second-most non-Rumi poetry related blog post I've written. I hope that means that it touched some families and, perhaps, made things a little better. The parents involved in my personal situation have matured and developed a much more peaceful approach to their shared parenting, which gladdens my heart. That prompts this repost.

The link included in the original post is no longer functional, so I am recommending a helpful article:

 ****

Yesterday I spent the morning in family court as part of the ongoing custody fight over my granddaughter.  This is the third time I've spent a morning there, watching the human drama play out.  This time was supposed to be the "trial" with testimony and witnesses and all. However, the court didn't have a courtroom.  I thought the lawyer was kidding when he said it was a fifty-fifty chance that we would get a courtroom.  He wasn't.  We didn't and a couple of weeks from now, the lawyers will meet to set a new court date and some time in the future everyone will show up again to spin the courtroom roulette wheel.  The system is broken so the chaos plays on.

But, while I was sitting there watching the fallout of broken relationships, it made me once again wonder why we don't spend more money helping people make better life decisions and choices.  We obviously can't afford the system that we've created.  And, why don't we create a process where parents are forced to take responsibility for their decisions?  Why can't they sit in a room with a skilled arbitrator until they come up with a decision they can all live with? 

Better still:  people should have to go through a training program and get certified before they would ever be allowed to have children!!!
A friend of mine teaches a course called "Parallel Parenting" which teaches parents how to end the war.  In some areas it is a court mandated course but not here. 

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Desert Wind blows right through me


Desert Wind - Click for Gallery info.
There is a song sung by Jevetta Steele that has haunted me for years. I wasn’t thinking about it this morning when I began this piece but it quickly began to play through my head. The song, “Calling You," comes from the movie “Bagdad Cafe” and won the Academy Award for Best Original Song in 1988.

As I worked on this piece, a range of bright, luscious colors showed up and that’s where I wanted it to go. However, sometimes these things have a mind of their own and a more subdued and almost melancholy palette insisted on getting its own way and also demanded a title that wasn’t what I wanted. 
I wonder who’s in charge here?

I also wonder how the brain works. What takes it down these rabbit holes and is there a reason for its venturing into places I don’t seem to have conscious control over? Oh, I could force it into lock step with my druthers but I kind of like these side trips that make me think about things in a different way. I guess that’s part of the fun of art … never knowing where the muse and I are going to wind up. 
Who needs drugs anyway?

You can hear the song at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk7mCmgzpPE

To see more of Joyce Wycoff's art, click here.
 

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

We cannot go backward

Photo by Todd Robertson
I came of age on the edge of darkness. My senior year in high school was spent in Fort Smith, Arkansas, where I saw “whites only” drinking fountains and there were no black faces in my school. I went to college in Oklahoma and heard tales of black students having to sit in a roped off area of the law school classes. In the dorms, we had long conversations about whether or not we would want to swim in the same pool with “them." At my first "real" job, I was shunned because I went to break with the only black person in the all-women department supervised by, of course, a man.

I didn’t grow up in a particularly progressive family, but it wasn’t filled with hate. When I looked at the photos from the Charlottesville rally, what struck me was the angry hate that filled the faces of the young, white men. What happened to them? How did they get to a place of such deep hatred, teetering on the edge of violence?

It reminded me of a time in the early 1990s when I visited the compound of the Aryan Nations, a white supremacist group led by Richard Butler from his compound outside Hayden, Idaho. I was writing a novel about white supremacists and, at the time, the Aryan Nations was a well-known terrorist group. I wanted to see for myself what they looked like and what they said in a one-to-one conversation. I was surprised when they granted me an interview. I was a nobody from no where.

When I drove into the compound in my tiny rental car, two old dogs came up to the car, tails wagging, which somewhat relieved the pounding of my heart. At least the dogs were friendly.

The compound had a rural, run down look: worn wooden buildings, people sitting in chairs on a long front porch. I noticed two, young tow-headed children coloring on the porch steps. I could have been visiting my grandparents.

Butler’s office was a make-do metal building overflowing with papers, pictures of Hitler, swastikas and t-shirts for the believers. Butler was in his mid-70s and was kindly enough as he began to spew a well-rehearsed stream of how white people are threatened and have to stand up for themselves. He had heard all of my questions before. His answers were ready and pat so he didn't mind that I was recording them.

After about an hour of his disturbing monologue, I left. As I walked to my car, I glanced over at the children and could see what they were coloring: swastikas. That image of those young, innocent children coloring a symbol of hate shocked my system. I managed to get my car started, but as soon as I was off their property, I stopped and wept and still tear up thinking about them. That was about 25 years ago. Were they part of the torch-carrying crowd in Charlottesville? 

When Jimmy Fallon said in his powerful message, “We cannot go backward,” it made me weep again. Weep for the hard-earned progress made  over the past few decades, when all it took was one man with no moral compass to puncture the apparently unhealed wound underlying that progress.

We have much work to do. We cannot go backwards. However, those of us who believe in love, have to find a way to connect with those who hate. It reminds me of Edward Markham's poem Outwitted:

He drew a circle that shut me out,
Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.
But, love and I had the wit to win.
We drew a circle and took him in!

We cannot go backwards. We have to draw a bigger circle. Each one of us who believes in love has to try to pass that love along to those who may have literally spent their chiildhoods amidst hate. Last year's election separated us into camps, divided friends and families as we drew a line in the sand and defended our positions, creating "them" and "us."

We cannot go backwards. Gandhi said, "We have to be the change we want to see in the world." We must have the "wit to win."

If we want to see a world of love, we have to BE love. Maybe it's time to refriend the people we've unfriended on Facebook. Maybe we can't understand their political position, but each one of them is a person: a mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son. Each of them is carrying wounds that cannot be seen, facing fears that darken their days.

If we can't love them, how can we expect those young men in Charlottesville to put down their torches?

We cannot go backwards.

Many years ago I was at a spirituality in business conference in Puerto Vallarta. During a break I was walking down the sidewalk and a young man was walking toward me focused on something in his hands. The sidewalk was narrow and we were on a collision course. Suddenly, the thought came to me: He with the most awareness has to be the one that moves. Of course, I just stepped aside and he moved on unaware of the life lesson he had just provided.

Those of us who know and believe in love are aware of its importance and power. We have to be the ones making the first move. We don't have to accept or condone their hatred or positions, but we do need to love the person.

We cannot go backwards.

Photo Credit: The photo above comes from a newspaper article taken during a Klan march in Gainesville, Ga., by photographer Todd Robertson on Saturday, September 5, 1992.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Day 9 Implementation: Talking to Buddha


Talking to Buddha
 A friend sends me a monthly outlook from a wise woman in Alaska. This month’s report struck me with the term “fierce stillness.”

It occurs to me, on this 30th day of Sebastian Michaels’ program of creative abundance, that the morning and evening routines he has suggested are a form of fierce stillness.

By fiercely following a self-designed set of routines for evening and morning, I have created a stillness within myself and my day. It’s beginning to feel like a calm center forming, from which whatever love resides within me can flow forth into the world. In other words, it feels more like clearing roadkill bug juice from a windshield. I can see more clearly in order to follow the path I’ve chosen.

Thank you, Sebastian Michaels for creating a simple, motivating program to help so many of us establish routines that support our creative endeavors.

This image, “Talking to Buddha” comes from reworking an older image and adding a momma and her chicks I met yesterday. She was fiercely protective of her brood and, actually, not very silent about it. However, for some reason she reminded me of the term fierce silence.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Day 8 Implementation: The beauty of a clean desktop


Give Peace a Chance (revised)
One of the simplest habits I’ve developed over the past 29 days is cleaning my computer desktop every day. 
 
I have a tendency to overload my desktop with images and screen shots. Before this program to help us develop creative routines, I would sometimes have dozens, maybe even a hundred items on my desktop. It was often over-whelming as I lost track of what was there.

Now it’s part of my evening routine to trash everything not still being used. Somehow that clean desktop makes me feel more organized and focused. Those simple things are so important.

Nine years ago, I created the image below. I loved the metal sculpture of a policeman I found somewhere along the way and created an image titled “Give Peace a Chance." It didn’t work. 
 
Give Peace a Chance (old)
 This morning I pulled it out and applied some new techniques and new insights and wound up with the image at the top of the page. There is still something about the image that pulls me and I still don’t think it’s “there.” 
 
I wonder if I come back to it a year from now, if I will have found the new tools and techniques and the new imagination to bring what’s lurking there to the forefront? 
 
This post was prompted by Sebastian Michaels' "21 Days to Creative Living" and "Photoshop Artistry" programs. More information here.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Day 7 Implementation: Evening Routine


Home Sweet Home!
Sebastian Michaels emphasizes the importance of having a good morning routine to start your day in the direction of what you want to create. I agree completely.

However, what I am finding even more important is my Evening Routine. Before this 21days … plus 9 days of implementation … program, my evening routine was a typical email-facebook cycle until time to go to bed, leaving dishes in the kitchen sink and bits of clutter here and there. Nothing dramatic, but leaving about 20-30 minutes of busy work to be done before starting my “real” day the next morning.

Now, I realize that my evening routine is critical for protecting my morning creative energies and setting up the next day. My evening routine starts at 9:00 pm with a phone alert to update my "Way of Life" app and shut down my computer. That gives me an untethered-to-technology hour to wind down, read, relax and get ready for sleep.

To support both morning and evening routines, I have created a two-sided refrigerator card … one side for the morning routine, one side for evening. In the evening, after I finish cleaning the kitchen, clearing clutter, putting my gratitude journal on the table where I sit with my morning coffee, and laying out my yoga mat on the floor, I turn the card over to Morning Routine so I will be ready for the new day.

I’ve always thought I must be a bit simple-minded. I definitely need simple routines. My fridge card gives me the reminders I need to do mundane, but important, things like charging batteries and asking myself every day what I truly want to create.

My first husband once told me I had no bad habits. I thought, “how nice …” until he continued, “you have no bad habits … you have no good habits … you have no habits.” It took me awhile to realize I was driving his engineer-self crazy with my unstructured approach to life.

It took me even longer to realize I was driving myself a little crazy, also. Now I know that I’ll always find it easy to break habits as I go wandering off the path following a bright blip on the horizon. That’s okay. With my Evening/Morning Routine card, I have a gentle spirit sitting on my shoulder saying, “Come back … wake-up … create the life you want."

One of the fun things I’ve been doing is going back through old art rejects and applying new tools to them. “Home Sweet Home!” above comes from a photo of an abandoned house found in Arkansas. I never could quite get the image to work … but, now I have a new toy box and I think this one is fun. 
 
This post was prompted by Sebastian Michaels' "21 Days to Creative Living" and "Photoshop Artistry" programs. More information here.