Been There Voices: It's too late for ...

 One of the prompts for the Been There Voices group was to think of activities or dreams which you think it’s too late for and then find a piece of one of them that’s still within your reach. We were just getting organized so there are only a few responses, however, they are thought provoking. How would you respond?

Susan Larson: We all probably remember the bright yellow boxes of Crayolas and coloring books. Boy, how I yearned for one of those new 64 packs of colors;  I was lucky to get the eight pack. But try as I might, I never could stay in the lines and I would look over at someone else’s work and became totally discouraged. I felt like Pigpen from Charlie Brown comics as I hid my work.

It wasn’t until I was in my 50’s and I became friends with various art teachers in the schools where I taught that I began to understand a tiny bit about art. This became one of the top things on my bucket list for retirement.

During this period I went to a nonspeaking vegan yoga retreat in an isolated part of Cambodia. It was a huge, lush compound, and way off in the back was an art room filled with all kinds of paints, brushes, and paper. There was no one else in that room so I felt free to just try and not have someone next to me working on a masterpiece. The first color I put on the paper created a burst of joy inside of me…a new door sprang open. I began illustrating the journals that I kept, bringing my feelings to a new perspective.

I was teaching in China at the time and when I returned to school I found someone to teach me drawing. I still have my sketchbook and look back at my first drawings and the progression over time amazes me.

Now that I am retired I have taken oil classes for a year and while I love working with that medium, the clean-up turns me off.  A few weeks ago I found a woman with a soft gentle soul and I am trying watercolor lessons with great hopes.

   Becky Ripley: Here are a few ideas about what it's too late for:

• It’s too late to be the next Oprah Winfrey, but not too late to interview people I love to capture their essence in stories.

• It’s too late to be a museum-quality artist, but not too late to paint whatever inspires me and photograph paintings for cards that brighten friends’ and family members’ days.

• It’s too late to be a world-renowned coach, but not too late to help my clients live into their purpose-filled potential.

• It’s too late to be a mother, but not too late to nurture and support people in my life.

Joyce Wycoff: It’s too late for me to be an opera singer, but it’s not too late to sing. (BTW, the dream of being an opera singer passed swiftly when I discovered folk music and rock and roll.)

It’s too late for me to build a great business, but it’s not too late to invest in business or help others build their businesses. 

It's too late for Is it really too late to write a best selling book ... or is it? Are any of these too late or do I just no longer have the motivation for them? What one piece of these dreams can I hold onto?

We would love to hear your comments and thoughts about your dreams you may have packed away thinking it's too late.

Click here for more about  Been There Voices  

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Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

Been There Voices: Susan Larson - the power of support groups

Anne Morrow Lindberg’s quote, “I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable.” along with the idea of surviving extreme trauma reminded me of my son’s suicide at age twenty-four.

Someone suggested a support group called Compassionate Friends which is a non denominational group for people who have lost children. After a while, people don’t know what to say to the parent who has lost a child but these monthly meetings provided an outlet to speak openly about our memories, regrets, and never ending pain. They had a monthly newsletter that listed our child’s birthday and death day as they occurred. We could write letters to them and I wrote several poems. Everything was published.

The stories were often tragic. One mother’s son was working on an ocean freighter and he was washed overboard; his body was never recovered. One mother’s daughter was Kidnapped and murdered as she was refilling vending machines and the next year her other daughter committed suicide. One time a couple came to the meeting who had lost all four children of their children. One to a rare childhood cancer and six months later, two more died in a car crash with a drunk driver, Their one other child grew to adulthood but died in a car accident. This couple made the choice to live and share their story with as many groups as possible; as an example of turning such horrific tragedy into a personal testament of survival rather than retreating into anger and bitterness.

As I reach this age, I have witnessed too many people defeated by death, loss, pain and suffering. The loss of a child is unimaginable and destroys people and marriages. We can overcome this devastation by reaching out and joining support groups so that we don’t feel so alone.

-- ** Susan Larson, Ajijic, Jalisco, MX, explorer of the edges

Click here for more about Susan and other Been There Voices  

________________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

Love Letters to My Life #39 - Do I still need a migratory life?

Acorns with acorn weevil grub

(We know the day we were born, but most of us do not know the day we will die. This love letter to my life is written on the day I've designated as my death day: the 17th of every month, and reminds me to be grateful for my incredible life.)

Pinezanita Cycles

the poplars are turning yellow;

one red leaf glows on my favorite maple;

ravens are soaring, always watching;

woodpeckers fill their granaries while

acorn larvae wriggle free and fall

to the ground from a perfectly round hole 

then burrow into the soil for two years 

before re-emerging as adult acorn weevils

in order to begin the cycle anew.

###

Climate change shifted my own cycle of migration, bringing me back early to what is supposed to be my winter residence. Dixie, a monster wildfire, largest in California history and covering almost a million acres, raged through my summer place, consuming homes, towns, landmarks, and businesses. Fortunately for me, it left my lakeside trailer unblemished, other than a refrigerator that went rancid while the power was off.

While the debate ranges about who or what to blame for the devastation, one fact stands out for me: the moisture content for processed lumber averages 15%. Northern California’s forests average about 5%. We are in the midst of a mega drought which is drying up the state’s key reservoirs and turning forests into standing kindling. Climate change experts say this could be just the beginning.

Choke cherries - I got to watch the cycle from bloom to berry.

Last week I logged 1400 miles, driving to Lake Almanor for what I expected to be two or three weeks of enjoying the lake after almost a month of being evacuated because of the fires. I awoke my first morning there to a power outage and no information about cause or duration.

On the second morning, my patience had thinned and I wanted information so I headed for a Chester coffee shop where I found that all of the small downtown area was running on emergency generators and the expectation for return of power was 20 days. The local power station had been destroyed by the fire and apparently the back-up substation had just been knocked out.

Even after a monster fire, the lake is still stunning

With that information, I decided to shut down the trailer for the season and return to Julian, grateful that I had a place to return to. On the return trip, a friend texted that the power had been restored. Who knows where the 20 day estimate had come from? However, I was already packed up and decided to continue toward Julian.

Driving through the heart-stopping beauty of the Eastern Sierra

Something happens to my head when I’m on a long trip. Having nothing better to do, it builds castles in the air and I, thinking they are real, move in and start rearranging the furniture. As always, this trip ended and the castle poofed. 

It was a fun ride though and now I get to sort out the grains of reality from the toppling pile of fantasy.

One jewel of reality is being back in Julian in the oak woodlands of Pinezanita RV Park in my cozy RV where the woodpeckers screech through the clean mountain air. They remind me that they build granary trees so they don’t have to migrate. And, I wonder: do I need to keep wandering south to north; north to south? What would nourish me enough to stay put in this embracing land all year round?

Maybe this is the beginning of my wisdom years ... 

Fall begins in Pinezanita

Been There Voices: Ruth Ann Hattori - Reflections on Japanese Internment

When I think of “been there,” I automatically think of the end of the cliché, “done that.” In the Done That category…

Marriage: I’m happily married to my 4^th and final husband. Regardless of what happens in the future, there will be no more weddings.

Kids: My two wonderful kids are finally married off – to absolutely spectacular spouses. True to form, they are entrepreneurs, so not expecting any little ones soon. Our local family unit has grown recently as my stepdaughter and family have moved nearby. The three grandkids are really nice, respectful people (20, 18, 17)…it’s no wonder they worry about our influence on them! They will fit into Texas well, as “yes, sir” and “yes, ma’am” are in their vocab.

Jobs and careers: After running my own company, multiple Marketing Director, Product Development Director, Training Director positions, it’s hard to believe that I’m in the non-profit world. It’s eye-opening and thankfully fun as the team I’m with is mostly young, energetic and full of ideas. The marketing part is second nature, it’s the challenge of helping the Museum to reach the next level that’s exciting. Of course, there’s that thing about not really being “the boss” that is a bit of a rub every so often.

It’s the most recent Been There that has made me stop and think. Just one year ago, I was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, so my 2020/21 has been quite a roller coaster. I kept working – and boy, I have to say, that my work really got me up every morning and to my computer to keep my mind off of dark thoughts. But, because of my work, I probably didn’t spend as much time reflecting as one should.

Prior to cancer, we lost Mom to Covid in April 2020. I guess she was one of the early deaths in our country’s many. She was 96, suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease and was actually fairly healthy and “with it” except for her short-term memory until the end. Fortunately, she did not suffer for many days with Covid. Even before her death, and thanks to the National Museum of the Pacific War and our Day of Remembrance program, I had been thinking about her internment during WWII. More on that later.

I am truly thankful for the ups and downs of the last year. They do give me some focus on what to reflect upon and what to pursue. One thing I want to pursue is ensuring that all Americans do have a good sense of what happened during WWII – about internment, our initial awakening about racial bias in our culture and the stories of all of those millions of people who fought, supported and lived through that time. It is really true that WWII has shaped us as a country, and as time passes, we are losing both the stories and the lessons that we should have learned.

My mother was 18 in 1942, (shown in photo above) when after the attack on Pearl Harbor, both the US and Canada interned people of Japanese heritage on their west coasts, whether citizens of their countries or not. I always admired that Mom reflected upon her experience as positive. She told me that she would have never been a teacher, and certainly not a school principal had it not been for her internment. She was one of numerous young, Japanese Canadians who became teachers in their camps. Many years later, a book titled “Teaching in Canadian Exile” was published which were, essentially, oral histories written by many of the women who taught, including one of my mother’s sisters. As I have read the passages, my mother’s recollection that her internment experience was probably not nearly as terrible as most Americans’ internment experience is probably true. However, the fact remains that they lost their family home and property, and left with nothing post war, like their American counterparts.

The Museum has over 5000 oral histories in its collection. As our population of WWII veterans dwindles, soon we will only have these oral histories to hear the stories in their own words. 

One of my goals for the Museum is that we find a way for these stories to be shared widely. 

-- Ruth Ann Hattori, Fredericksburg, TX, ideas unlimited entrepreneur

Click here for more about Ruth Ann and other Been There Voices  

________________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

Been There Voices: Anita Perez Ferguson - Poetry

Huichol Art ala Anita Perez Ferguson

I used to be older, very discouraged, and certain life’s summer season was done. It was then that I wrote these lines:

Am I writing or praying?

Am I writing, or praying, 
when I create a character 
and give her life?

Her ordinary moments 

reflect the hopes and fears 

that herd us toward 

divine guidance and shelter.

Am I constructing a plot, 

or meditating on her 

purpose and perils?

I listen to her heartbeat 

and see a creative spark 

reflected in her eye.

Am I writing or praying?

***

Summer Past

Summer past

Appears to be

Forever gone.

Never to come again.

Not to be annually recurring,

But spent.

Disbursed.

It’s company

Disbanded.

-- Anita Perez Ferguson, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

___________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

These things ... these joyous things

These Things ... These Joyous Things

elegant, long-needled, sunlit Jeffrey Pines,

clinging rabbit brush draping shadows

across the sparkled and crevassed granite rock,

Walker River riffling through the canyon,

Shingle Mill day use area inviting 

passing travelers to stop, rest, 

admire these joyous things...

these joyous things,

waiting for you,

hoping you see them,

wanting your heart to open,

feel the connection,

feel the eternity 

flowing between you.

9/12/2021 driving Highway 395 through Walker Canyon, stopping to do my gratitude journal in one of my favorite places.

I miss the Eastern Sierra.

Announcing: Been There Voices ... stories of wisdom from women who have lived long and learned much

From diversity comes wisdom

"I wanted a perfect ending. 

Now I've learned, the hard way, 

that some poems don't rhyme, 

and some stories don't have 

a clear beginning, middle, and end." 

 -- Gilda Radner

Few of us have fiction-perfect stories; all of us have struggles and joys, lessons learned, lessons forgotten and learned again. What we have after decades of surviving the ups and downs of life is Wisdom. Hard-earned wisdom stories that can be shared with others and, possibly, help them on their own journeys. 

The purpose of Been There Voices is to create an ongoing series of stories and thoughts from a diverse group of women who have lived long enough to gather wisdom and are caring enough to want to share what they've learned. 

To start the ball rolling, I invited several women friends who have had varied lives to join a loosely defined process of sharing our stories and our wisdom. The ball is rolling slowly as we gather biographies and ideas into the Been There Voices tab shown at the top of this blog. Click here to meet the women who are sharing their stories.

Early in the pandemic, Barbara Gaughen-Muller, one of the voices of this project, invited me to be a guest on her peace podcast. It was a chance to share some of the thinking I had been doing about gratitude and generosity and their role as two sides of the same coin. I had been fascinated by so many of the pandemic scenes: generosity -- a pianist playing to Venice from a gondola -- and greed -- people stripping store shelves of toilet paper -- and how those actions related to feelings of gratitude.

Barbara suggested I use the podcast in the opening announcement for this new group as an introduction to me as well as to this fledgling process of increasing the number of us who are sharing our wisdom. 

We women who have reached the wisdom stage of life (and some reach it earlier, or later, than others) now live in a world which offers us multiple opportunities for sharing the lessons we've learned; however, sometimes we forget how much wisdom we've gathered, how much we've survived and how we have thrived.

These strange and challenging times desperately need wisdom. I hope we can be an example of shared wisdom and encourage others to tell their stories whenever possible. It is through story that we share our human connections as well as our collected wisdom.

Click here to watch

Please join us … please share your own wisdom in the comments section, or if you would like to be a guest contributor or a contributing member, please send an email to jwycoff at me dot com.

A question and a thought for you:

How might you tell your story ...

and to whom?

"Our species thinks in metaphors 

and learns through stories." 

-- Mary C. Bateson

Kinetic Wave Sculptures: Reuben Margolin

Another find from my digital attic ... Reuben Margolin, a fascinating kinetic artist who deserved an updated look. I found this in his bio: 

I went to Harvard to study math, but changed majors and got a degree in English in 1993. Maybe, I thought, I could be a poet.
Upon graduating, writing wasn’t going too well and I decided what I needed was a better table to write on. So I built a round table that could drive and set out across the country in search of conversations about the meaning of life. It turned out that the only conversation I was having was why I was driving a table and so I ditched the table in Texas.

 Kinetic Sculpture: Dandelion Wave 

Click Here 

*** 2011 Original Post ... be sure to watch the video ... great studio

Here is a perfect example of the artist perspective (with the talent and skill to translate his perspective into incredibly beautiful reality). Plus, he's very cute.

From the YouTube description:  Reuben Margolin, a Bay Area visionary and longtime maker, creates totally singular techno-kinetic wave sculptures. Using everything from wood to cardboard to found and salvaged objects, Reubens artwork is diverse, with sculptures ranging from tiny to looming, motorized to hand-cranked. Focusing on natural elements like a discrete water droplet or a powerful ocean eddy, his work is elegant and hypnotic. Also, learn how ocean waves can power our future. Learn more about Reuben at http://www.reubenmargolin.com/