Been There Voices - Anita Perez Ferguson - A March Poem

 

A March Poem

In a world of sorrow, thank you for planting flowers.

When you plant and water, you are a midwife in the birth of delicate creations.

Flowers give evidence of God’s wondrous creation, season after season,

even in the midst of turmoil and pain.

Take heart, see their beauty, join in the process of renewed joy.

You are God’s partner creating colorful miracles with your own hands;

plant, tend, kneel.

Let your garden balance the pains of our troubled days.

Let the flowers be a banner of God’s love waving in a war-torn world.

Let them comfort your sorrow.

May your flowers bless all who see them, drinking in dew, dancing in the sun.

They are fragile as you are fragile.

They are God’s beloved as are you.

** Anita Perez Ferguson, PhD, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Books; Twisted Cross (2020), Women Seen & Heard (2019)

https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Cross-Adventure-World-Mission-ebook/dp/B08GCXKS9F

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

Been There Voices - Anita Perez Ferguson - Prequel to the Mission Bells Triology

PREQUEL TO THE MISSION BELLS TRILOGY 

By Anita Perez Ferguson

Nina's dry hands, cracked as the parched earth, bleed when she scraped her knuckle on a scrubbing stone. The laundry, stained with red blotches, marked her life as it drained away.

Overhead, two black birds swooped and squabbled over crushed acorns. Slick feathers gleamed in the sun, their glamour dulled by the ruckus.

This isolated life in the desert cabin baked away all hope. Even those who flew screeched with discontent.   

If she disintegrated in the sun, no one would miss her. If the birds pecked him apart no one would know.

The Clifton Trader was the only place to buy packaged goods and ready-made clothes within one hundred miles of Tucson, Arizona in 1895. It was a company store for the miners. Manuel Garcia worked for Phelps Dodge Copper as the store clerk. Today, he was anxious to close up but one woman lingered and took her time fumbling with her coins. 

Nina waited until everyone left before pointing out what she wanted. Manuel was disinterested in the affairs of the Indian woman everyone referred to as 'La Chata'. They said she was only 19, but she looked ancient under her crusty skirt and shawl. He rolled her items into a small brown package. 

She replaced her leather coin pouch under her rebozo then left the store without uttering a word, climbed onto her wagon, and pushed the package behind a bag of flour. Her husband's work horse snorted as she let the whip loose on his behind. One beast pushes another, she thought.   

#

Guilt rode with her. Nervous excitement awaited in the brown package. A slight breeze stirred under her heavy skirts. She felt a sinful pleasure all the way up to her thighs. Another beast dragged her back to reality. She spotted her husband's palomino in the corral beside their adobe cabin where she knew he would be irate having to wait for his dinner.   

#

When they married one year ago Pablo's papa made a big ceremony of giving the young couple this converted chicken coop for a home. Sweeping the dirt floor stirred up feathers from former residents. Wire grate vents were her only view of the outside world. Two bales of hay leaned against the mud bricks. Nina stashed her package between the bales, gathered her courage and other essentials, then shuffled into the cabin. 

#

The savory aroma of hot quisado stew filled the cabin. Pablo's work clothes lay discarded in her laundry basket. His expression as glum and still as an Aztec god awaiting an offering. Nina fumbled, dropping a clay bowl in her haste to serve the stew. His scolding glance frightened her. His crisp shirt and pants signaled his evening plans. As her husband ate Nina stood in silence. Her imagination raced with plans to retrieve the package as soon as he was gone.

Tomorrow night, she thought, he will not abandon me. His tavern friends will be shocked to learn what La Chata has done.

At twilight the next evening Nina retrieved the package and opened it with care and reverence. She unfolded a pure white blouse and a red ruffled skirt. Town women wore such clothes, the ladies Pablo visited each night that she lay shivering in their bed. She dabbed her olive face with powder and rouge then tied her heavy braids with colored ribbons. Comparing herself to the feminine image on his old whiskey bottle she prayed to lure him home.  

#

Tired and hungry, Pablo slunk into the dim cabin. He didn't bother to glance at his wife, a round-shouldered stranger, as she served his meal. He hurried off never noticing the fire pit smoldering with red and white cloth scraps. Later that night Nina tugged their old nag toward the Mission, lit a candle, and prayed for forgiveness. 

The End of the Story: The Beginning of the 

Mission Bells Trilogy.

** Anita Perez Ferguson, PhD, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Books; Twisted Cross (2020), Women Seen & Heard (2019)

https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Cross-Adventure-World-Mission-ebook/dp/B08GCXKS9F

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

Been There Voices - Anita Perez Ferguson - Writer's Prayer

Santa Ysabel Mission, photo Joyce Wycoff

`Writer’s Prayer

by Anita Perez Ferguson

You are the author of all our stories.

Be with me as I step onto this empty page.

Be to me both fire and wonder,

Inspiration and guide.

May I befriend the reader with true welcome.

May these characters reflect the hope, fears,

And the pain we all possess.

May the blessing of relief and acceptance live here.

As a creator, may I be wise, skillful, honest,

And love this story into being.

** Anita Perez Ferguson, PhD, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Books; Twisted Cross (2020), Women Seen & Heard (2019)

https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Cross-Adventure-World-Mission-ebook/dp/B08GCXKS9F

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

Been There Voices: Anita Perez Ferguson - In the rear view mirror

We have a crappy old Chevy van parked in our driveway. I have resented it ever since we stored it for an acquaintance who will probably never remove it. It is a big ugly white box, old enough to vote. Oddly enough, there is someone who loves it and gives us much joy as he clings to the rearview mirror. 

This tiny strip-headed sparrow visits the mirror each morning at sunrise and engages in deep, deep reflection. He pecks at his image in the mirror, then flutters against the driver’s side window. If there were a sparrow dervish dance, this would be it. 

Because of the car’s angle, the sparrow must see several self-images; in the mirror, in the window, the mirror reflecting the window, and the window reflecting the mirror. It’s all him, all the time. 

So, this clunker of an unwanted vehicle provides some amusement and consideration of my own frantic self-absorption and my fascination with the rearview mirror of life. While our bird friend wears himself out pecking at the past, a bowl of fresh bird seed sits five feet away, the rising sun creates an unbelievable spectacle, the blue sky and fluffy clouds adorn the scene above, but he pecks, pecks, pecks.

I have even cleaned the mirror for him, enabling his fruitless pursuits, even while I urge him to look up, see the sky, the birdseed, and the new day. Two days ago, he brought a friend. One bird pecked on the driver’s side, the other at the passenger side mirror. My husband and I chuckled and continued our own morning pursuits. I reminded him to look up at the sky during his walk to work. 

And I remind myself, and you, to do the same. Happy New Year. Look ahead. 

** Anita Perez Ferguson, PhD, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Books; Twisted Cross (2020), Women Seen & Heard (2019)

https://www.amazon.com/Twisted-Cross-Adventure-World-Mission-ebook/dp/B08GCXKS9F

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

________________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

Been There Voices - Anita Perez Ferguson - How do you manage prolonged exposure to grief?

After teaching my weekly class at the Ventura Post Acute Care Center I wrote:

Your pain and sickness

Distress my spirit.

Seeing you erases

The smile I washed and ironed Especially for our visit.

How do you manage

Prolonged exposure to grief?

I cannot store up enough cheer to last the journey.

** Anita Perez Ferguson, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

________________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

Been There Voices: Anita Perez Ferguson - Changing Seasons

 

From my morning journal, some thoughts on seasonal change;

A hazy sky draws a veil over the summer past.

Vivid colors withdrawn, gentle breezes subside.

I beckon an autumn mystery

And commence the act of waiting

Inhaling my yearning

Exhaling anticipation.

The season is slow to reveal itself.

October does not withhold my wish.

This year my own vision, now blurred, delays the promise. 

** Anita Perez Ferguson, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

________________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.

Been There Voices: Anita Perez Ferguson - Poetry

Huichol Art ala Anita Perez Ferguson

I used to be older, very discouraged, and certain life’s summer season was done. It was then that I wrote these lines:

Am I writing or praying?

Am I writing, or praying, 
when I create a character 
and give her life?

Her ordinary moments 

reflect the hopes and fears 

that herd us toward 

divine guidance and shelter.

Am I constructing a plot, 

or meditating on her 

purpose and perils?

I listen to her heartbeat 

and see a creative spark 

reflected in her eye.

Am I writing or praying?

***

Summer Past

Summer past

Appears to be

Forever gone.

Never to come again.

Not to be annually recurring,

But spent.

Disbursed.

It’s company

Disbanded.

-- Anita Perez Ferguson, Santa Barbara, CA, young adult historic fiction author

Click here for more about Anita and other Been There Voices  

___________________________________________________

Been There Voices is about us, our lives, our successes and failures, our joys and sorrows, our lessons and our gradual, hard-won wisdom. We have survived and thrived throughout whatever has come our way.

The reasons are arbitrary and not intended to dismiss half of our population, however, this project focuses on the stories of women, and begins with fourteen women, well-polished grains of sand on the beach of life, tumbled by the waves of time until their light shines through, offering their stories, joys and sorrows, to the ocean of wisdom.