I don't want to keep rushing around but I'm not sure I know how to respond without the drama of new pushing me onward. Right now I am becalmed with no winds of change blowing me toward something. For the next three weeks, until the house closes and the moving mayhem begins, there is little that needs to be done. My work project is finished and there's no place I need to go. I feel antsy, like I should be doing something, making something happen, getting on with things, filling the pipeline, making a plan.
But, part of me is resisting. Nothing calls to me enough to overcome the lethargy so I'm stuck in this strange, antsy/lethargic state. Which is probably right where I need to be. It's probably a signal to go within and find out what's going on. All of these uncomfortable feelings most likely are resistance and I'm just yearning for more new to distract me.
Diane at Contemplative Photography often seems to be on a parallel path and this morning she included a quote in her blog from Byron Brown's Soul without Shame:
"Awareness brings a definite quality to your experience: when it is available in an unrestricted way, your mind has a lightness, a clarity, and a cool freshness, almost like the air on a crisp fall day. Things appear bright and new as if you were seeing and hearing them for the first time."Maybe it isn't "new" that's stopped working. Maybe it's me that has stopped seeing and hearing things as they are ... fresh and new every day. Maybe this time is about stopping and bringing awareness to my experience, in an unrestricted way.
Awareness.About the image: Finding Center. My granddaughter Reyna exploring the phosphorescence exhibit at the Children's Museum in Oakhurst. CA.
One bird singing along Twitter Alley
Heart sadness under an avalanche of Jolly Ranchers
Reflection pool lost in a theme park of distraction
Child's butterfly kiss in the midst of morning madness
Rainbow arc above the car pool lane
Overflowing with possibility, offering no promises.
Margaret Wheatley might tell you that what you're feeling is another opportunity to recognize where you are and "relax into the experience."ReplyDelete
Thank you Joyce. You've touched my heart with this post -- Awareness -- the velvet of silence embracing my soul.ReplyDelete
I think we get addicted to new without even knowing it. It explains retail therapy, for sure! As long as things are new, we're too busy finding them and thrilling to them to sit back and look at the old me that lies beneath all the new stuff. New propels us forward, but away from the rootedness we need to be able to stand ourselves when life slows to a stop...ReplyDelete
Great post, as always!