Monday, June 7, 2010

Locked in Time

Tomorrow this project that changed my life ends.  After a four-hour drive, I will drop off three teenagers and be done.  My part of the video project about Minarets High School is finished and tomorrow morning I will wake-up to a clean slate.  Nothing due.  No to do list. No loose ends to tie together.

I can feel the force of the vacuum pulling me back into doing.  There are several possibilities ... things I want to do, creative projects that could be fun and possibly even financially rewarding.  But, I'm trying to resist, trying  to leave a space just to be, trying to leave time open and free to find its own direction.

I don't know how long I'll manage to stay in this weightless (or is it wait-less) state ...

... That was yesterday and a case of blogus interruptus.  While the students were off making their movie, I made art and was a little surprised when this image showed up.  It's a little grim.  I didn't know what it was trying to tell me so I posted the more approachable "Be Wild" image of yesterday.  Now I feel drawn back to the idea of being locked in time, which of course we all are.  But the face in the image has such big eyes ... somber eyes, wise eyes.  Eyes that see the world through a rather haphazard window.  But are they the eyes of a prisoner?

Everything in the image is ancient ... the Roman numerals, the cave painted horses, the face itself which comes from an ancient piece of art at a friend's house.  Perhaps just the thought of being locked in time is an ancient way of thinking.  Perhaps time is an illusion, a dream I can choose to direct in my own way.  Perhaps the image is truly in prison looking out at time ... free time.

Perhaps the image is saying, "I'm locked in time but you are on the outside ... free."  Perhaps this is a reminder to not lock myself into a new project that imprisons my time. 

Perhaps it's just a reminder to truly savor this moment as I sit on my deck listening to the birds sing and the keys on my laptop click away as I have this conversation with time, with an image, with myself, with you.

1 comment:

  1. That image is giving you many possibilities but I think you're choosing the one that's best for you now: being quiet and listening.