"Spirituality is the art of transfiguration. We should not force ourselves to change by hammering our lives into any predetermined shape. ... Rather, we need to practise a new art of attention to the inner rhythm of our days and lives.This makes me think that trying to be mindful of the pattern my life is forming is more important than charting a course and then willfully staying on track. The rhythm of my days is peaceful, creative and quietly joyful. I am treasuring this new found freedom and solitude, yet I seem to keep focusing on the gap, the lack of a connection with a life-partner because that is the predetermined shape I am most familiar with. But, perhaps, my soul is working with a different map ... a map I've never seen leading to a future I cannot even imagine.
"It is far more creative to work with the idea of mindfulness rather than the idea of will. Too often people try to change their lives by using the will as a kind of hammer to beat their life into proper shape.
"If you work with a different rhythm, you will come easily and naturally home to your self. Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of your self."
Perhaps I need to relax and rest in the wisdom of my spirit and let the Universe lead me. It sounds so easy but my impatient nature rises up and urges me to take action and it only seems to be after I've taken an action that I recognize my hastiness. Only then can I breathe deeply and remind myself to follow my spirit, not drive it. Maybe if I read the words above often enough, I can re-learn this lesson which has presented itself to me a hundred times in various forms. Some things take longer to learn than others but I want to learn this one. I want to "come easily and naturally home" to my self.
It reminds me of a poem I wrote years ago ... maybe anticipating this very moment.
It’s My Choice
I can let it flow.
I can turn it loose and let it go,
Or, I can work it.
I can push it, pull it, pound it,
Shove it, shape it, turn it inside out,
Or break it. I can work it.
I can form it in my hands
And make it fit my plans.
I can work it!
Or, I can let it go.
Turn it loose and let it flow.
Let it flow ...
Let it flow ...
Let it flow!