I didn't know

"In the end, it is not the sorrow of the world that matters but our heart's response to it. Compassion is sharing in the beauty of life and in the ocean of tears."
-- Jack Kornfeld

What if, as a young person, you were launched on a new path that brought you fun, fame and fortune? What if you became the most accomplished master of a new skill and it brought you joy every day you practiced your craft? Until ... until the day you suddenly realized that you had made a horrible mistake ... a mistake that would eventually claim the lives of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, of your friends. How would you atone for that mistake?

This is Richard O'Barry's story and most of us of a certain age were as familiar with his craft as we were of Tinkerbell's pixie dust falling on the Magic Kingdom. O'Barry was the trainer of the five dolphins who played Flipper on the television show of the same name. We fell in love with dolphins through that show and our love has grown like a cancer until it now results in the death of thousands of dolphins every year. Ric was delighted with his life and his craft until Cathy, one of the five Flipper dolphins, fell into depression and stopped breathing in his arms, an act that Ric insists was suicide. He instantly became an activist and has spent the rest of his life working to save the dolphins.

Ric's story is entangled with the story of Taiji, a small Japanese fishing village where 23,000 dolphins are killed every year in a search for "show dolphins" to fill our bottom less passion for these beautiful and graceful animals ... and as a method of "pest control" to protect the Japanese fishing industry. This slaughter and the efforts to capture it on film are graphically recorded in Louie Psihoyos' documentary, The Cove. This is a hard movie to watch but it is also inspiring to watch the creativity, heroism and passion of the people who risked their time, careers and lives to film the truth of what happens in that beautifully wretched cove in Taiji. One small way to honor their efforts is to watch this film even though it is gut-wrenching.

Apparently the Japanese people are unaware of the Taiji secret and at the end Ric O'Barry is standing in the midst of a busy street in Japan with a television monitor strapped to his chest, showing people the truth. The words, "I didn't know," no longer apply to this dark secret ... to the people of Japan ... or to us.

Watch the trailer and learn more at: http://savejapandolphins.com/

I Dream

"If one is lucky, a single fantasy can totally transform a million realities."
-- Maya Angelou

I Dream

I dream of being.
I dream my roots deep down into the impervious,
sun-warmed granite where their tendrils drill into
the tiny cracks and crevices where life hums.

I dream of truth.
I dream my dark spine rising upward
into the harmony of sun and earth and rain and wind
until it sings one clear note of an ancient melody.

I dream of love.
I dream my green needles into the crystal air
dancing light beams back to the sun
in a forever rainbow waiting simply for rain.

I dream of death.
I dream my shadow across the lichen children
reaching outward further, further each hour
stretching beyond, yearning ... yearning for ...

Where Have You Been?

One of my blog sisters asked me where I've been since I haven't posted for a few days and it triggered the refrain from a long ago poem ...

"Where have you been?
Did you get lost again?

Did I get lost again? I've been so busy trying to find myself, could it possibly be that I got lost again? I've been reading, studying, doing art, checking off boxes on my "to do" list ... I've been BUSY! And, how I love being busy. Too busy to just sit and listen to that small, inner voice. Too busy to let uncertainties and doubts have their say. Too busy to risk the return of fear and loneliness.

I want to turn my face to the sun and stride forward in a straight line stretching all the way to the horizon. But, that small voice keeps murmuring, wanting to be heard, wanting to tell me things I might not want to hear. It's easy to not listen. It's easy to say "later." It's easy to know I should listen and even easier to find justifications for "not now."

Memo to little voice: I am now in charge and you will remain quietly in the background. Take a nap, go for a walk, have a nice life. Tap me on the shoulder if you have something pleasant to share, otherwise please keep your thoughts to yourself.

Irritating response: Isn't that what you've been saying to me all your life? How well has it worked for you?

Rebuttal: Look, I'm supposed to be entering Dragon Country. I need to be fearless and strong. How can I make progress with you nattering on about how I'm really feeling?

LV: So it would be better to enter that unknown territory armed only with your false feelings and thoughts?

Me, the solid, real me that people can see: There you go, just like I knew you would, trying to trick me into listening to you. I know what I need to do, who I need to be, how to act fearless until it's real, or at least seems real. Listening to you could make me crazy, leave me vulnerable and defenseless, cracked open like an egg dropped on a concrete floor.

LV: How little you know how safe you are. Let me tell you how loved you are. Listen to me just a little ... just a little ... let me take your hand and help you find your way.

Silence ... ... ... ...


Red Leaf on a White Pickup

Red leaf sitting on a white pickup
Shouting, "Look at me!
It's fall and you haven't yet seen
The colors of the trees.

"You haven't felt the soft November air
Or the electric shock of orange persimmon
Against crystalline blue sky,
Or heard the stir of red leaves not yet gone dry.

"Where have you been?
Did you get lost again?

"Did you get lost in the thick woods of work and worry?
Did you forget to inhale the last breath of this year's roses
Offering their pink and white ecstasy to the morning sun?
Or let the dancing yellow-green light beams go unsung?

"When was the last time you strayed off the world's highway,
Beckoned by the invitation of an unknown path
Fringed with weeds and grasses heavy with seeds?
Or listened with compassion to the stories of a gurgling stream?

"Where have you been?
Did you get lost again?

"Did you forget the haunting smell of crushed eucalyptus?
The lemon-yellow explosion of a liquid amber tree?
The feel of a cool breeze breathing on sun-warmed skin?
The peaceful sound of Sunday before the day begins?

"Where have you been?
Did you get lost again?"

Love

"With love, even the rocks will open."
-- Hazrat Inayat Khan*

When I was in college I read a short story (and have unsuccessfully tried to find it ever since) about a group of men sitting around a campfire in the mountains talking. One of them says that the Bible could be reduced to a single word: love. That struck a chord and has stayed with me since then. As my journey led me through a series of churches, it seemed to me that all of them complicated and diluted that simple and beautiful message until it was thin and weak.

Now I am in the midst of a studying "New Science" and my head is full of new concepts such as ... zero point field, string theory, multiverses, epigenetics, uncertainty principle, non-locality, and the non-linearity of time. It is fascinating to watch "New Science" referring back to ancient mystics and mystic traditions in a process of rediscovery of what was apparently known eons ago. But suddenly this morning I wonder if all of this, too, could be reduced to a single word: love.

And, what would we do differently if we truly understood that word and lived it?

About the Quote:
Hazrat Inayat Khan, (July 5, 1882 – February 5, 1927) was an exemplar of Universal Sufism and founder of the Sufi Order International and set forth ten thoughts that form the foundational principles of Universal Sufism[4]:

1. There is One God, the Eternal, the Only Being; None exists save He.
2. There is One Master, the Guiding Spirit of all souls, Who constantly leads all followers toward the Light.
3. There is One Holy Book, the Sacred Manuscript of Nature, the only Scripture that can enlighten the reader.
4. There is One Religion, the unswerving progress in the right direction toward the Ideal, which fulfills the life's purpose of every soul.
5. There is One Law, the Law of Reciprocity, which can be observed by a selfless conscience, together with a sense of awakened justice.
6. There is One Brotherhood, the human brotherhood which unites the children of earth indiscriminately in the fatherhood of God. ... (later adapted by followers) There is one Family, the Human Family, which unites the Children of Earth indiscriminately in the Parenthood of God.
7. There is One Moral, the Love which springs forth from self-denial and blooms in deeds of beneficence. ... (alternative, source unknown) There is one Moral Principle, the Love which springs forth from a willing heart, surrendered in service to God and Humanity, and which blooms in deeds of beneficence.
8. There is One Object of Praise, the Beauty which uplifts the heart of its worshipper through all aspects from the seen to the unseen.
9. There is One Truth, the true knowledge of our being, within and without, which is the essence of Wisdom.
10. There is One Path, the annihilation of the false ego in the real, which raises the mortal to immortality, in which resides all perfection. ... (alternative, source unknown) There is One Path, the effacement of the limited self in the Unlimited, which raises the mortal to immortality, in which resides all Perfection.

Forgiveness Lesson from South Africa

"Without forgiveness there is no future."
-- Archbishop Desmond Tutu, winner of the 1983 Nobel Peace Prize, was chair of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission.

Yesterday I watched (or should say wept through) Invictus*, the incredible, inspiring movie about Mandela's early years as president of South Africa. (watch the trailer here) I remember talking to a friend from South Africa many years ago when we were at a conference in Mexico together. I asked him why Mandela was so readily accepted as a leader when he came out of prison. After all, he had been in prison for 27 years, not exactly in the public eye. How did people even know who he was? Ketani told me that it was about character and how much more their culture focuses on and values character. They knew Mandela's character ... even after 27 years in prison ... and that was enough.

I also remember how we expected the worst in South Africa. Archbishop Desmond Tutu said: "If you asked even the most sober students of South African affairs what they thought was going to happen to South Africa a few years ago, almost universally they predicted that the most ghastly catastrophe would befall us; that as sure as anything, we would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath." The bloodless and relatively peaceful transition in that country as it moved from apartheid to democracy is one of the most remarkable stories of our time.

In an article about the process of forgiveness in South Africa, Archbishop Tutu discusses the concept of "restorative justice" rather than our idea of "retributive justice." He states, "There is also restorative justice, because we believe in Ubuntu -- the essence of being human, that idea that we are all caught up in a delicate network of interdependence. We say, 'A person is a person through other persons.' I need you in order to be me and you need me in order to be you." (It is well worth the time to read the entire article from Archbishop Tutu)

But the movie isn't directly about forgiveness ... it's about rugby and the underdog story of a losing team's rise to the World Cup. Rugby was a white sport and at the beginning of Mandela's presidency, there was a move to get rid of the team, the colors and everything that it stood for. Mandela pleaded with the leaders to keep the team because it was so beloved by the white South Africans and then worked hard to show his support for the team and let them know how important they were to their country. Rugby was used as a force to unite the country, creating a sense of one country, one people and a reminder of their sense of Ubuntu.

As we think about "forgiving those who have trespassed against us" and forgiving ourselves of our own imperfections, this movie and the words of Archbishop Tutu seem to offer much to ponder. And, it seems to me, that if forgiveness can happen under the most horrific and extreme circumstances such as South Africa's, surely the rest of us can do it.

*“Invictus” (meaning “Invincible” in Latin) was a short poem written by William Earnest Henley and published in 1875. What’s the connection to Mandela? It seems the poem was a great source of inspiration for the freedom fighter. The impact of its verses is probably best summed up by this passage from a 2007 Reader’s Digest interview with Mandela:

RD: When you were in prison all those long years on Robben Island and elsewhere, was there something that came back to you, something you had either in your mind, a message or passage from a book, a song, something that helped sustain you and keep up your spirits?
Mandela: There was a poem by an English poet, W.E. Henley, called “Invictus.” The last lines go: “It matters not how straight the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.”

Since this has always been one of my favorite poems, I'm adding the full version here:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Third Choice

"The most beautiful and profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the power of all true science."
-- Albert Einstein

My friend Emily Meek is an amazing painter of archetypal scenes. She was kind enough to give me a print of one of my favorites, and, since she is also a poet, on the back she wrote:

The Tension of the Opposites

Both in Shadow.
Both part Light.

(Neither one's all wrong or right.)

Only curious delight
to watch,
as Two call forth the New Light.

It strikes me that almost all of our social polarities would benefit from this thinking that neither side is all right or all wrong and if we could look at the whole situation with curious delight, we might call forth a new light. What if we decided to hold our most diametrically opposed views in that state of tension and let curious delight work its magic in finding a Third Choice which would shine new light on the situation? Wouldn't it be great if we could apply this thinking to the issues of abortion, health care, gay marriage, immigration and world conflicts?

But, this morning I'm thinking of the long-standing division between Darwinism and Creationism. I have just finished reading Bruce Lipton's visionary book, The Biology of Belief, in which he makes a case that Darwinism is not exactly right ... but neither is Creationism. Somehow, through his curious delight as a cellular biologist, he managed to find a new light and has become a leading thinker in the new field of biology termed epigenetics, which literally means "control above the genes."

Lipton states:

Suddenly I realized that a cell's life is controlled by the physical and energetic environment and not by its genes. Genes are simply molecular blueprints used in the construction of cells, tissues, and organs. The environment serves as a "contractor" who reads and engages those genetic blueprints and is ultimately responsible for the character or a cell's life. It is a single cell's "awareness" of the environment, not its genes, that sets into motion the mechanisms of life.

On one side of the line is a world defined by new-Darwinism, which casts life as an unending war among battling, biochemical robots. On the other side of the line is the "New Biology," which casts life as a cooperative journey among powerful individuals who can program themselves to create joy-filled lives.

Lipton's scientific discoveries in cellular biology shattered his beliefs about the nature of life to the point that he "instantly went from nonbeliever to believer ... convinced that we are immortal, spiritual beings who exist separately from our bodies. We are made in the image of God and we need to put Spirit back into the equation when we want to improve our physical and our mental health."

The science developed 300 years ago has served us well in many respects but it also filled us with thoughts and beliefs that may no longer be serving us well in today's challenged, over-populated, over-consuming world. Lipton offers us fresh, empowering insights based on sound science. What a nice way to start the new year.

Starting with Self-Compassion

One of my words for 2010 is "maitre" ... the Sanscrit word meaning loving kindness toward ourselves. If we want to have a more compassionate world, perhaps we need to begin by being compassionate with our self. Kristin Neff, Ph.D., Associate Professor in Human Development at the University of Texas at Austin, has a website devoted to ideas about how to be more compassionate towards ourselves. Here are two of her recommendations for being more self-compassionate when we might normally be self-critical or judgmental:

Self-Kindness - "What would a caring friend say to you in this situation" "What is a kind and constructive way to think about how I can rectify this mistake or do better next time?" Try putting your hand over your heart or gently stroking your arm when feeling a lot of pain as a gesture of kindness and compassion.

Self-judgment - "Who ever said human beings are supposed to be perfect?" "Would a caring mother say this to her child if she wanted the child to grow and develop?" "How will I learn if it's not okay to make mistakes?"

And here is another set of recommendations found at cure2.com
Six Ways to Develop Kindness Towards Yourself
Adapted from The Force of Kindness, by Sharon Salzberg (Sounds True, 2005).

People often find some difficulty in caring for themselves, in receiving love, in believing they deserve to be happy. Developing care towards ourselves with the power of concentration is the first objective, the foundation for later being able to include others and finally all of life in the sphere of kindness. Try these ways:

1. Spend some time consciously reflecting on the good you’ve done, or a good quality you have.
2. Remember a time you made a mistake. What qualities help you learn to act differently? What qualities stifle the creative urge to change?
3. If you see anger, fear, or similar states arising in your mind, and you find yourself reacting to them as “bad” or “wrong,” purposefully translate that response to “painful” or “suffering.” See what changes.
4. Reflect on what the middle way might look like for you in a particular endeavor, relationship, or challenge.
5. Devote some time each day to self-care. Can you spend 15 or 20 minutes doing something to be kind to yourself?
6. Develop and practice loving kindness meditation for yourself.

About the image: This is from a new set of "Dragon Country Intentions" I'm doing to get ready for the "Frozen Dead Guy Festival" gallery opening. Most are taken from the poem by the same name and posted here.