Book Challenge Day #3: To Kill a Mockingbird

The first book I ever bought for myself.

I grew up on a “farm” outside a small town in southeastern Kansas. Coffeyville had a library that I loved but no bookstore. In 1961, I went with a friend and her family to the big city … Kansas City … where I saw my first bookstore and purchased my first book … To Kill a Mockingbird. I didn’t know anything about it so I’m sure it was just because of the intriguing title.

On that trip, I fell in love with bookstores and my idea of wealth was formed. Someday I would be rich enough to walk into a bookstore and buy as many books as I wanted.

TKM knocked me over. Kansas at that time was relatively progressive. Schools were integrated and most of us didn’t think much about diversity and social conditions. Actually, at that time of my life, I’m not sure I thought much about anything. 

To Kill a Mockingbird made me think. Not long after that, I moved to Fort Smith Arkansas, where schools were not integrated and there were still “whites only” signs around. It was a different world and I could see the difference, and began to think about justice, equality and the world I wanted to live in.

To Kill a Mockingbird is now one of our most beloved books and definitely one of the books that shaped my world view. I'm not sure how many times I've read it, but it may be time to read it again.

Book Challenge Day #2: The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements

There is something dangerous about gaining awareness: it can bite you when you forget.

Recently I met a woman who pushed ALL my buttons. Within minutes of meeting her, I had several valid reasons for not liking her. I won’t bother listing them as they don't pertain to this insight and probably aren't even true.

Yesterday morning, sitting in one of my favorite coffee shops, a vendedora came in with load of bags and other bright, colorful items, as well as her two, very cute, children. I’ve bought several things from her in the past, but this morning I didn’t need anything. 

We exchanged pleasantries as much as two people can without a shared language. Then, she pulled out a piece of paper, handwritten in English, obviously by someone else, describing her situation and why she needed money. The note encouraged the reader to be generous. It was a touching note and at the bottom, it was signed by the woman I recently met, whom I had written off and talked unkindly about to others.

I contributed some pesos to the mother, but it didn’t wipe away the guilt I felt about judging someone so harshly AND indulging in unkind conversation about her.

As I sat there, I thought of the Four Agreements, principles I have worked on for years, and obviously still need to continue working on. After reviewing them again, it was clear I was out of sync on at least three, and maybe all, of them:

1. I wasn’t impeccable with my word. It was bad enough that I judged her so harshly but I spoke to others about my feelings as if they were the reality of who she is.
2. I took things personally. The woman and I had a small exchange that I definitely took personally and felt offended.
3. I made assumptions. I assumed many things about this woman and judged her harshly.
4. I didn't do my best to be kind, and fell far short on one of my core values.

How fortunate I was to have this interaction that held up a mirror that helped me see an unflattering view of myself. A Facebook friend shared a quote from John O’Donohue that likens us to a tower of windows. Moving to a different window shifts our perspective.

Today I am choosing to move to a window that reminds me that what I see in others is not who they are, but rather a projection of who I am.

Thankfully, today is another day.

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Book Challenge Day 1: John O'Donohue's Anam Cara

There are books I read, enjoy and immediately forget.

And, then there are some books, slow books, books that take weeks or months to read, that demand to be highlighted and contemplated, books so beautiful I can never forget them.

In 2009, I was at a low point, feeling homeless, abandoned, untethered. Some how I came across John O'Donohue's book and fell immediately, head over heels in love with his words ... and, more importantly, the possibilities of my life.

I couldn't get to Google fast enough. I wanted to experience more of this person; I wanted a workshop. It broke me open all over again to find out that he had died the previous year. I had to make do with his words so I have read them again and again.

Here are just a few that a Facebook friend shared this morning. It reminded me to download a kindle version since I left my library behind when I moved to Mexico.

Savor and enjoy.

“There is a beautiful complexity of growth within the human soul.

In order to glimpse this, it is helpful to visualize the mind as a tower of windows. Sadly, many people remain trapped at the one window, looking out every day at the same scene in the same way.

Real growth is experienced when you draw back from that one window, turn, and walk around the inner tower of the soul and see all the different windows that await your gaze.

Through these different windows, you can see new vistas of possibility, presence, and creativity. Complacency, habit, and blindness often prevent you from feeling your life.

So much depends on the frame of vision—the window through which you look.”

Love Letters to my Life #2: New Book: Kaleidoscope of Self

Click here for copy

It may be the middle of the year, but I’m still thinking about the Christmas letter I didn’t write … that
actually I never write but always think about writing.

In the past year, I’ve created a mountain of art … well, it would be a mountain if it weren’t all stacked in my computer in neat, pixel-hungry Photoshop files.

What I really wanted was an album where I could look at my art and share it with friends. The solution I hit on was a digital magazine: dump in the photos, make a link and send it out. Simple.

Why is it that simple ideas seldom are?

Beautiful though digital magazines are, it didn’t take long for that solution to reveal it’s complications … and expense. However, I was just about to leap into the new software and monthly expenses when a friend recommended iBooks Author.

At first, I rejected the idea. I didn’t want to publish another book and go through getting an ISBN number and publishing it to some e-book site. And, I definitely couldn’t afford to actually print a full-color book of art.

My friend let out a not-so-patient sigh and said: 

PDF. 

oh.

So, I opened up the free software, somewhat determined to prove her wrong … and fell into wonderland, substituting my own letters: OMG!

Suddenly, I was on a path that allowed stories, poetry, lessons and bits of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way to be part of the journey. It was like a life collage forming in front of me … with no glue bubbles to try to eliminate.

Slowly, it turned into a book. But, not a 50,000-word book … more like a 5,000-word book with lots of pictures. A picture book for adults, especially adults trying to navigate "this stage of life."

In the process, the book became my second love letter to my life. And, to celebrate the completion of it, I’m giving away the pdf version for a month to my friends and all their friends and friends of friends.

 

So, if you would like a FREE copy, click on this link

 … before September 16th at 10:00 p.m. CST. At that point, I'm either going to sell it or retire it.

In case you would like to see small views of a few of the pages ... if you click on the image, you'll get a bigger view which you can actually read:

Chapter 1 - WONDER, page 7

A major question ends each chapter.

Chapter 3 - WANDER has a lot about Oaxaca - the story behind the frame is a favorite.

Chapter 6: CONNECT, page 63 ... all art is mine.

It took 10 pages to say Adios (to god) and required a brand new piece of art.

FREE Book: Kaleidoscope of Self

Hola! It's here ... my new book filled with stories, sights, art, and bits of wisdom about "this stage of life." To get it click here:  Kaleidoscope of Self.

It changed titles three times in the process, and also changed the business model ... if you can call FREE a business model.

Going through the process of writing a book automatically triggers questions of marketing, formats, distribution, and pricing. This past year, as I thought about my art, I realized what I really wanted was to make connections. Now I realize it's the same for my writing.

Because this book is filled with full-color art, printing it would be extremely expensive and even putting it into e-book format is far more complicated, expensive and limiting than a standard black-and-white book.

PDF is a simple format and there are ways to sell pdfs online, however, it would mean doing things I don't want to do, and it would limit my connections.

So, free is the easiest and I hope it helps me meet more of you. I've also started a Facebook learning group ... Kaleidoscope of Self ... where the chapters will be serialized and encourage sharing of stories and insights.

First review made me cry:  

"It’s fabulous - it’s amazing - it’s unique - it’s uplifting - it’s courageous."

Click here if you would like to hear more about how this book was created.

If you think any of your friends would like to have a FREE copy ... just send them this link:

Kaleidoscope of Self ... thoughts about creating ourselves anew in "this stage of life"

Rumi: What Was Said to the Rose

What was said to the rose to make it open. Rumi

Remember, the entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.
-- Rumi

What was said to the rose that made it open

was said to me here in my chest.

8/17/2017 -- Rumi's words this morning drew me into creating this image and contemplating the unending beauty that flows through the universe. It's an easy thing to forget in these days of turbulence.

Today's guidance from The Rumi Card Book:

Reward Card -- Eat on and on, you lovers, at Eternity's table; its feast is forever; and spread out for you.  Prosperity of all kinds is now open to you.

Category explanation from the book: The divine Love that urges our journey ever onward also constantly and lavishly rewards us for every sacrifice we make and every action of true generosity that we undertake.  When the eyes of Love really open in us, we see that life is an unbroken stream of ordinary miracles and that just to be alive is a matchless reward.

8/8/2018 -- What an interesting world. Eryk Hanut, author of The Rumi Card Book, and I have become friends on Facebook, where I learned what an absolutely amazing person he is. His Rumi deck is so important to me that it's one of the few things I brought to México with me.

It is available at amazon.com.





What Was Said to the Rose

What was said to the rose that made it open
was said to me here in my chest.

What was told the Cypress that made it strong
and straight, what was

whispered the jasmine so it is what it is, whatever made
sugarcane sweet, whatever

was said to the inhabitants of the town of Chigil in
Turkestan that makes them

so handsome, whatever lets the pomegranate flower blush
like a human face, that is

being said to me now. I blush. Whatever put eloquence in
language, that's happening here.

The great warehouse doors open; I fill with gratitude,
chewing a piece of sugarcane,

in love with the one to whom every that belongs!

Poem by Jalaluddin Rumi

More about Coleman Barks:   


translation ©2005 — Coleman Barks

Love letters to my life #1: A new venture

Tree of Life

This is the first in, hopefully, a long series of love letters to my life, to be written on the 17th day of each month remaining to me. The thought that I might not be here to write the next one, prompts me to express my appreciation for every tiny moment, all the joyous occasions, and each heart-wrenching setback that has landed me in this particular moment of birdsong and unfolding new directions.

I am one of the lucky ones. Here in this moment, in the early days of my eighth decade, I am free, healthy, engaged with beauty and expression, rich in friendships and community,  exploring a new culture, learning a new language, watching, sometimes with astonishment, as each new page turns, revealing bits and pieces of the world and myself that I never knew existed.

Understanding the infinite immensity of all that surrounds me, I rest in the awareness that revelation will continue as long as I breathe. After that, who knows?

Neill James, photo and article

Today, I thank all the forces that brought me to a new landscape ... Mexico … and invited me into the unique culture of Ajijic, a small village guarded by two distinct feminine spirits … Teomichicihualli, goddess, fish-princess of Lake Chapala, and Neill James, an adventuress, travel-writer from the United States, who settled in Ajijic in 1943 and proceeded to do the work that called her … perhaps as an incarnation of Teomichicihualli herself. (For more about these spirits, read here.)

Artist: Jesús López Vega

Each of us writes, and lives, a story about our lives. It’s
never a true story, but it’s a handy one that provides a lot of justification for the choices we make and explanations for what befalls us. My story was simple … I was an only child, separate and alone, childless and unmothered, rolling through life free and independent. I could make all the details of my life fit that story. It was a story that didn’t allow space for community as I rolled from one place to the next, even though I frequently proclaimed my desire to find connection and community.

When the rolling stone of my life plopped me down beside the largest lake in Mexico, something changed. Life took me out of my rolling, 60 mph life and said: Walk! And, while walking through the streets and along the shores of the lake, community sneaked up on me. I fell in love with this odd blend of immigrants and indigenous, Spanish and English, wealth and poverty, raucous noise and generous souls. It’s like I have been touched by both Teomichicihualli and Neill James.

Many years ago, in the throes of an entrepreneurial moment, a friend and I started a small gallery of art and crafts. It was a joyous adventure and we created a luminous, creative offering for the community. It lasted three months and, when it failed, it broke my heart … and the friendship. I swore I’d never take a risk like that again. 

Never say never.

Tiny gallery to be on Colón

A new friend and I just signed a lease for a new gallery here in Ajijic … Galería del Futuro.  Steve and I are both digital artists and had been talking about finding a place to show our work. When the right place at the right price showed up, we started talking seriously about the possibility. Shadows from the old venture wafted through the air and I outlined all the reasons I didn’t want to be part of it. I didn’t want to be tied down to a retail store; no one was going to buy our work anyway, it would be a waste of money … amazingly negative talk from someone who believes in positive thinking and benevolent self-talk. 

What it might look like after painting.

However, as we continued to discuss the possibility, a new thread appeared … we could help young, local artists by showing their work also. Suddenly, passion was ignited as the whole project took on a different aspect. We both recognized our deep interest in supporting young artists … a kind of support we had never experienced ourselves. This possibility also linked us to a project some established artists here were working on to try to support promising young, local artists in their artistic development. We began to see this new gallery possibility not as just a commercial venture that might succeed or fail, but as a connection to the community, an investment in the future, a legacy.

As always when a new venture begins, we do not know whether it will succeed or fail. However, I do know that this is now part of my journey, a new piece of me being opened to life and the connection of everything. 

I am so grateful for my life and all the wonderful experiences coming my way.