Do you ever replay old events and conversations in your head? Probably most of us do. On my walk this morning, I was replaying the end of a relationship. There were many contributing issues to the demise of this relationship but probably the main one was money. In my head, the conversation was going ... you could have had me but you chose money ... then the 2x4 hit.
Recently I launched a new project ... PhotoLarks: San Diego. I think it's a good project that would offer people an insider's view of a beautiful part of the country and help them take better photos of their experience. I also think it's potentially very commercial. When I look at my financial future, I see a gap between what I have and what I'll need, assuming life stretches on for awhile. Even though PhotoLarks is a creative project and could be fun, a major lure was the money.
Realistically it is also a marketing project and would take a lot of time and effort ... that means taking time away from making art. I had rationalized that I could balance both. However, since I spend most of my days on mosaic, digital collage or writing, it was a stretch to get to that rationalization. What I heard in my head when the 2x4 hit was "Art" saying ... you could have had me but you chose money. OMG.
Stunned, I suddenly realized it was a choice ... art or money. Right now, art shows no signs of filling the gap so I can find other ways to make money ... or I can choose art and trust that somewhere along the way money will show up, hoping that the advice to follow your bliss and the money will show up is true. Money has never been my bliss but art is so my only real choice is to follow it wherever it leads me.
PhotoLarks was a diversion and it took a 2x4 to wake me up. Since it looks like the Kickstarter effort has little chance of succeeding, it seems like the Universe agrees that this was not the way to go. It reminds me once again to focus on what brings me joy.
Oh my -- that's a mighty powerful 2x4.ReplyDelete
And.... about those conversational replays.... yeah. Do it all the time! And it still never changes what happend. Though.... you're right, sometimes it takes awhile for the 2x4 to come into focus!
thanks for this -- great post!
Oh, Joyce. This saddens me. I would never say to do something that isn't joy-filled for you but I truly believe in that PhotoLarks project, which is why I contributed. It's art. It's art with business potential. You're facing what every artist I know faces. There is a side to art that necessarily has to involve business (marketing, promotion, etc.); it's the side every artist hates but when pressed will admit has to be done to put food on the table. I believe the perspective requires thinking "and/and", not "either/or". I truly do. I think your PhotoLarks can succeed if enough people know about it... the people in San Diego, the SD chamber of commerce, all your friends in the blogging world, on FB, on Twitter, etc., who can help promote it.ReplyDelete
Kickstarter is so aptly named. It takes a bit to kick off something but after that ....
Maureen ... thanks for your thoughts and support for the idea. I'm not giving up but without the Kickstarter funding, it's not a viable project. I'm definitely going to see what happens in the next 3 weeks ... if this project is supposed to go, it will have to gather some momentum. You have made me realize I need to put a little more effort into it.ReplyDelete
You post hit me on so many levels...the replay of events...Louise is right...can't change the past, but if we are lucky we learn something from it and move back into the the present..
Art...working artists like you and me have chosen a road that reacquires us to DO so much...so many things that often feel uncomfortable for me...and often don't deliver the hoped for results..I love the people who think artists get to play all the time...HA!!
nice seeing you yesterday!