An important deadline looms and blinds us to the world around us. A fascination turns into an obsession leaving no room for every day enjoyments. Winter chill and darkness sends us diving under a comforter in front of a mindlessly fascinating story of other people's lives and we forget ... or ignore ... the studio ... the musical instrument ... the friend ... the voice of the world calling to us.
I've got lots of excuses. I'm moving ... gaping packing boxes surround me. I've got an art show to get ready for ... the to do list never seems to get shorter. It's raining. I've blown off two social opportunities this week. And, I just packed up my hammered dulcimer which I haven't touched for months. It was heart wrenching to see that beautiful instrument so abandoned. And, yesterday I realized that I can't remember when I took time off. I have been totally focused on making art and trying to find ways to market art. I've forgotten that my primary art is my life and I've let it get out of balance.
The move and the looming deadline of the art show in May won't let me escape to a warm beach with bright fish ... but I can take this moment to acknowledge that I am out of balance. Those of us of a certain age may remember the Koyaanisqatsi (Hopi for "life out of balance") movie series which used rapid motion scenes to create a vision of life moving too rapidly and too mechanically.
That is definitely one way of being out of balance, moving too fast, being disconnected from nature. But another way is being disconnected from our own nature. Because my life is not on that fast track of external action, action, action, I didn't realize that I had found my own way of being out of balance ... internally ... being over-focused on producing and stripping away "non-essentials." I've even been labeling my packing boxes as "essential" or "non-essential." And, of course the non-essentials are those beautiful things that hold meaning and memories ... those things that are absolutely essential.
I will live in this koyaanisqatsi state until the external requirements are met and then I'm going to rebalance and make room for my dulcimer and unfocused time for wonder, rest and engagement with the world around me.
About this image: Sacre Bleu
On the way to and from the coast last week, I listened to Christopher Moore's new book Sacre Bleu, a fascinating and fun "comedy" about the time of Van Gogh, Monet, Manet, Toulouse Lautrec and the color blue. It prompted this image and I feel more coming.